Patriotic?

I love my country and all that's in it.
That's a FACT.
Right now I haven't been anywhere that I'd like to stay in
To be fair, there are places that I'd like to visit
And then there are places that I think I may like living in
but from what I've seen and know,
So far home is the best
We're blessed with lovely weather and loving people
We're blessed with freedom of religion
Seriously, what more can one ask for?

Snakes in the grass

I'm suprised at the human species. There are many of them whom you'd
vouch for as being good people but they're just snakes in the grass.

Casually married

I was shocked to say the least
I was hugely disappointed
In life there are many things one takes for granted
For myself I view people as good at first then bad after I interact with them
This sounds very naïve, but I generally feel everyone needs love at some point
So I give them before I get to know them
My disappointment is over people I never assumed have casual sex
Yep, I had out them on a pedestal that maybe they didn’t deserve
But hey, I’m human and I love to love
It’s just strange to me how one can have casual sex just like that
I sort of understand the male race
But for females
Shame on us girls!
It just puts one girl on a level that males will never let her rise from
Once involved in casual sex, any man who gets to find out will view you with that at the back of their minds, (if not at the fore)

I say strange as some of the people who do such profess to be Christians
An excuse would be if you had a crush on this single guy and you just couldn’t help yourself
But a married man
Argghh!!!

The bad about finance in marriage

It seems right now I’ll be mostly venting my thoughts on relationships
(Those of married couples may top the list)
I don’t understand a lot about them as I’m not yet in one or been in one but I just have to make my observations and vent my opinion
How can a man father a child and then expect the mother to pay for the child’s fees alone when they both work?
What happened to the ideal that the man takes care of the wife and family?
Twenty first century or whatever, the man still has his duties
He just cannot forgo his duties when he can carry them out
Finance is one of the top most reasons why marriages either don’t work out or why couples argue in relationships
It’s not an easy area to tread but one has to venture into that area well ahead of the two of you starting a family otherwise one can only imagine the worst
I’ve been to enough kitchen parties to know that this is an area not so worked on that will bring problems early in the relationship
It usually happens when there are two pay checks that don’t have much of a gap in between.
When there’s just the husband’s pay check things are a bit easier as there’s generally one person who dishes out the dough and maybe dictates how it’s spent
The case with two pay checks that are almost similar has many ways that it can be dealt with
Some opt to pool resources and come up with a budget
Some opt that the man’s check is what keeps everything else going and the wife’s is what’s used for the groceries
Some will say the wife’s check chip’s in as and when there’s a deficit otherwise how it’s spent is the wife’s choice
Usually in such cases the wife spends it on herself and shouldn’t expect the hubby’s check to take care of her hair, wardrobe and such things
The case where there’s a gap the wife’s is usually not even considered and it’s up to the wife what to do with her check
Then there’s this unique case where the difference is actually known but two checks exist
The couple agrees what to put into the pool and they agree on a spending budget
Still in such a case there also is a scenario where the wife and hubby have nothing agreed but each somehow is ok with that situation
The wife does the groceries from her check and sometimes asks for top up for the groceries and her hair sometimes
Then there’s’ this unique situation which seems to be the norm in many families
Finances are not discussed or pooled but each knows what to expect the other to do
Arguments spark when a party tries to get the other to spend their check n what the other expects the other’s to take care of
Examples:
The wife asks for money to get her hair done
The hubby will flare that she’s spent her money on unnecessary things and she should spend her money more wisely
The hubby asks the wife for top up for the fees
She’ll flare that hers is not to take care of the family but his duty
Quaint, isn’t it all.
It’s sad that an area so important is not given the attention it requires to avoid unnecessary arguments that may end up being the reason for the breakup.
What brought this on?
The man who expects the wife to foot the child’s school bill without any prior agreement or understanding
I think the problem is that nothing was said about finances and who foots what bill
There was an unspoken arrangement and this time one party is trying to change the way “the world works”
My two cents on finances in marriage
Talk about them
Even before marriage
I think it’s the best time to find out what the other party views as being their responsibility and slowly get to a point where you can actually come to a conclusion on how you wish to manage finance in the marriage
It shouldn’t be anything contractual but having a base point to both be coming from when you do get to argue is better than just shouting your expectations and what the norm has been when your partner decides to change “the” rules without notice.
I’m chuffed that I’m actually sounding like a “Dear aunt X” column somewhere
I just may have a future there