Reflection on death

So here I’m sitting all alone in the office

We’ve basically shut down for the year

I could go home and find stuff to do but I just had to blog for the last time in 2009

As I sit and muse at what I did in the year, I cannot help but thank God

I thank God for keeping me this whole year through

It wasn’t by any act of mine or wisdom of self that I’ve made it thus far

It’s His grace

I’ve lost some dear people I knew in my life

The most profound loss I had and felt this year was a guy from the hood named Zekiah

He passed away in November after succumbing to injuries from a road accident

He was only twenty

Why his death got to me was because I refused to believe he could just die like that

When I was told that he was involved in an accident I quickly prayed that he would not die

I wanted his injuries not to be that serious

I just couldn’t believe it when I was told two days later that he’d passed away

He was my youngest brother’s friend

I was sort of the replacement for my brother when he went to S Africa and we were chummies of some sort

I had become like a sister of sorts to him

But God’s timing had come for him

Then just last week I get home to receive news that a neighbour had passed away that afternoon

It was two days before Christmas

Arthur’s system just shut down due to an asthma attack

He left behind a wife and a young boy barely four

Why I was shocked is because it was all so sudden

That day many people saw and talked to him

He’d actually gone to get his medication earlier in the day and the nurses were shocked when he was wheeled in the same afternoon at the point of death

Again God’s time had come

I believe in the ongoing battle between life and death

Each day we start afresh the battle we left the day before

Each day that battle just may be lost if God’s time has come

However we fight the battle, one day it may be lost if His timing is before Jesus’ second coming

My family this year has been kept alive and I thank God for that

There were many instances when anyone of us could have succumbed to death but by God’s grace we are all still alive and well

It doesn’t take much for death to come when it has finally been allowed to take over

What we have to do is make sure that we are ready when death is granted that wish

How can one be ready for a day that only God knows?

We make ready each and every day if we want death to be to the physical and not your spirit

Unfortunately many of us believe we still have time on this earth

There are many things we’ve postponed to tomorrow, later

Postponed to when things are more stable

To when we are a bit older, to NOT NOW

Oh, foolish man!

Why should you plan thus unless you have given your life to Him?

Only when you know He knows you and He has spoken to you can you even plan about tomorrow

And when you do know Him, you will know that you have to be ready each waking day

Only the blessed few will know it is time and have the chance to commit their spirits unto him before leaving this earth

For the rest, we have to prepare daily

If we postpone coming to Him we are only being foolish

Yes, unless He draws us to him can we go to Him

But how do we expect to hear Him when we’ve shut ourselves in us and refuse to believe His voice

I believe now is the time to make ready for eternity

No one knows where we’ll be tomorrow except Him

There are many watchmen around

Take heed

Their hands are clean as they’ve told you the Word

Now some watchmen can rest but why do you refuse to listen to their message?

Now is the time of your calling

Be prepared.

And last of all......

"at this season of the year we should think of - of - ourselves. We should look into our - our accounts. We should feel that every return of so eventful a period in human transactions, involves a matter of deep moment between a man and his - and his banker."

Ghosts

I, for one, don’t really believe in them to some extent

What compelled me to title this post as such is that I somehow had encounters of similar apparitions in real life

Made me feel kinda like Scrooge in a Christmas Carol

Here’s my story

A bloke comes up and pours his heart out to me and professes his undying love for me

Hold on, this is the first time I’m seeing this guy and he truly wants me to give him a chance

Hello, I don’t believe in being stalked and I believe in a bit of chit chat so that I have an idea who you are so that I’ll see if I’m up to playing game with you EVER at all

As if that wasn’t enough a blast from the past lets me know that they’re in town and wants to have a drink

People!

I don’t have space for such acquaintances especially now

I cleaned out my closet and I’m not taking back what I threw away

I’m also not taking in any new stuff just on the basis that it’s something new

NO!

I don’t want any meaningless or time consuming baggage

I let go and will not venture into taxing relationships

When I don’t feel like it I just don’t

I think with both my heart and my mind and when my heart don’t leap at first sight of you, my brain’s been conditioned to ask why?

And when brain says why, answer is a flat NO, coz heart wasn’t involvedJ

(heart's been hurt many a time when brain didn't play ball when heart skipped a beat, so the two are now BFFs coz brain was stressed most of the time coz of letting heart roam at will)

I love the way I’ve simplified this whole choosing process

It may be viewed too pragmatic but it’s working for me

As if the ghosts of the past and what could be aren’t enough for me to handle in one week,

Along comes another one

This isn’t a ghost at all

It’s just a mist

You talk to someone on your way from church and they figure you’re theirs just like that

Yes, just like that, and they go and tell their sister they’ve found themselves someone to wife

I was shocked beyond words and I just couldn’t muster the courage to tell the sister that he brother assumed too much from the single contact which truly speaking came about from having attended the same service and happening to be almost on the same path home

But seriously guys,

Is that how things now work?

Hunt, see something and just claim it’s yours even when the catch is in someone’s trap?

Ok, I’ll forgive you for not seeing that the catch is in someone else’s trap but to call hoe and tell the family to prepare cooking a rabbit when the rabbit is not yet in your grasp,

You haven’t even let go an arrow in the rabbit’s direction but just becoz you’ve imagined it, the family’s gotta prepare dinner?

Guys, give me  break and do tell if I’m just being too unrealistic and have been left behind the tides of change in this dating world

What I know is that I’m not up for it

If alone I’ll be becoz of my views, then what will be will be

Ce que sera, sera, mes amis

I really hate busting someone’s bubble but at times one has to be frank and not pretend for the sake of someone who’ll you’ll only hurt more by not being frank in the first place

My resolutions for next year?

I’m still working on it, but count on Frank being thereJ

Cheating men

What is with men?
They come across someone who’s friendly and single and the next thing is that they want to know that person more
Hello……..
You’re married for heaven’s sake
And I don’t date people I do business with
However attractive, available.....whatever
Business is business.
Period.

Why?
It’s the AFTER that I don’t ever want to deal with say that relationship doesn’t work out and you still have to be in contact with that person regularly
Just becoz I’m friendly doesn’t mean that I want to have an affair
Just becoz I’m single doesn’t mean I want to be paired up
Being single is no crime for crying out loud
I’ve totally stopped being friends with such males who want a funny relationship with me or start calling me pet names

That behaviour appals me to say the least
I’ve actually at some point have had to spell out that why I’m cutting ties with some people
I have to be that frank at some point coz talking to someone’s wife about who you are and why their husband is texting you isn’t my cup of tea
Tell the man point blank to behave and if he knows what’s good for him he’ll stop nagging you for that lunch/call/chat/whatever

I don’t even wonder that it could be my disposition that makes these men behave the way they do
They’re just too greedy/lustful and not grateful for what they have
I guess it’s true when they say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone
It’s a pity coz some families break up becoz of men who just cannot control themselves
You may say that stolen fruit is the sweetest
But do you ever think how you’ll carry on without any fruit at all

I wish all men knew of the 80/20 rule when it comes to relationships
Men, behave

Tolerance

That's a word!
I'm not one to judge but I'm one to say out my mind
There's just a fine line between what passes as ok for family viewing in my book
I'm one of those who can only afford to watch free channels from SA hence my view is thus biased
I was commenting some time back about how the soapies & dramas somehow all took on the same subject at the same time
They played around with the issue of being gay
One soap just brushed it aside after pushing it strongly for some weeks and the persons involved just went away from the spotlight and their sexual orientation was just not discussed
the other one did a couple of episodes and the character disappeared
The last clean one toyed with the minds of viewers and we decided before they came out on their own
They led us to decide that a character was gay before finally tackling the issue
And up to this day they still haven't brought the issue to the forefront nor have they even made a character vent their views on the topic save for the person who will be most devastated by knowing their son is gay
My point?
It's not an easy topic for discussion
For me I drew the line long back based on the Bible
It's just not right
Tell me about genes and all such stuff and I'll tell you my theory on how we as humans have academically succeeded justify all our actions
Rights also fall into that category in my books
Yes, yes, we all have the right to choice
But what if our choices impinge on the freedom of another?
We don't live in a vacuum but just up to where is our tolerance getting us to?
Why can we not just call right what it is and wrong what it is and not mix it all up with rights and freedom
Just because one is free does not mean that they should do whatever they wish
Maybe I'm being judgemental but we all need to come clean on life issues

Look at how many things we've managed to put the umbrella of freedom and rights and where we are because of that

If you truly believe I'm just being a hater, ask yourself this

What would you do if your own child told you that they were gay

How would you handle that

As far as your gene pool is concerned there’s not been anyone thus inclined and here's your own offspring telling you that

Hang on,

Maybe the child experience may be too much for someone without experience with children even those of a relation

What if your dearly beloved tells you that they want to go on the other side coz they just no longer feel it for you

They feel that the other side is what they've been wanting all along and were just not realising it

Now they know and need to come clean, that's just the way it is

There is 'what you would', 'what you could' and 'what you will'

Which choice will it be?

My two aunts

I look at myself and ask if I’ll be able to be the typical Zim wife
The one with the doek at a funeral, always with a zambia in their purse
Always ready to give advice,
Plays the role of aunt to anyone who trusts you enough
It’s the custom bit that I muse about
Let’s face it, I only have my two mad aunts who are the epitome of that woman
(Mad coz they laugh at any issue and are never sad faced in their duties. They provide comic relief at funerals!)
So this other day they just rock up and tell us they need to take someone to the future husband’s place coz she’s pregnant
Wow! I didn’t expect that route to marriage from the couple in question
Anyway, so it happened and in such cases the mum is the last to know if the child didn’t tell her mum
Actually, I doubt mums are ever told such things
[Allow me to digress a bit-
When a girl becomes pregnant out of wedlock it’s a bad thing & the mum is blamed. People say “mwana ashata” or “mwana aipa”i.e. a bad (actually tragic) thing has happened to your child- NB the father has no association with such things whatsoever
When a girl becomes pregnant and she’s married, it’s a good thing and the dad is proud to say it’s their child. People say “mwana anaka” i.e. a good thing has happened to OUR child]
So I guess you see the reason mums are never told lest they say they knew of the girl’s status and be blamed for being party to the whole thing- imagine that!
Anyways in my case the mum doesn’t know and my aunts need some stuff for the girl to take along
She’s the westernised Zimbo and the long skirts she has are knee length and tight
Actually the wardrobe has two skirts and kazillion slacks and shorts
A bit of a problem
She’ll need a doek/head scarf
No problem here coz any old small piece of fabric will do
Now the zambia bit
They need a decent one and they cannot part with theirs so they have to get it from the mother
But of course this has to be done without her actually knowing what it’s for until the very last minute (in this case)
So they ask for it and she wants to know why they want one
They say they need to accompany someone to future hubby’s place coz she’s pregnant
Of course the next question is, who?
They say it ME!
And the response
A shocker of course and……next?
This is the time my mum is down with hypertension and she says that’s probably why her blood pressure shot up
My mum had been unwell for the past 3 days and she wouldn’t just let on what was bothering her. She has a history of being hypertensive but as a family we had managed to grow up well and keep it low and she’d been off meds for more than 5 years
I digress too much
So they all laugh out loud when she says “ah, it happens, how can one know what their child is up to? You can only accept what’s happened?” to my mum
They just had a jol at this
My mum calmly tells her the truth
Of course it’s not what she expected
It’s easier advising someone else on their issues than accepting yours especially when the whole world knows and you’re the last to know
They also ask for a blanket and have to repack the suitcase to rid it of most of the slacks and retrieve long lost skirts that are still in wearable state and make a decent wardrobe
So they have a hard task of convincing the boy’s family to accept my dear cousin but they finally do
When they return it’s in the dead of the night but we all wake up and have a ball as they recount the negotiations
I really don’t see myself measuring up to even 50% of these two aunts of mine
I guess that’s why we’re generations apart and well, always will be.

In the past

The song “Just someone I used to know” was playing
It’s then that I got to thinking about the words of the song
Actually, I looked for the lyrics and some words ring true
I got a call yesterday from a blast from the past
It’s a he
We used to be friends and things just changed and when he got married
I can say that’s when the friendship ended
There were jealousy issues with the wife so I stepped aside
I thought it’d be just one of those associations that will turn right with time
People grow up and most mature even if they thought they wouldn’t
Apparently I was wrong
Things won’t be as before and I’m not prepared to resuscitate that friendship
I’m ok with just the casual chat here and there and the obligatory hi’s when we meet
He’s not
He wants my e-mail and said he’s going to look for me on facebook
Old flames don’t make friends at all in my books
There’s that quiet time when the idea “what if” pops in
So best to avoid those chances/situations
Maybe he’s going thru a time when he needs friends
I just no longer trust people as much as I used to
I learnt the hard way that trusting people will make you see who your real friends are and that hurts
Like I said before, many ‘friends’ are associates in my books
It’s complicated, but so’s life
I’ll listen for as long as he insists on calling
I pray that he’s sincere in his intentions otherwise he’ll not like what I’ll say to him as far as this acquaintance is concerned
Correction, he’s not a blast from the past, just a good friend I used to have
Poeple often thought we were an item but that wasn't the case
We just got on so well people assumed it was becoz we were dating which is something we never did
We just hung out with other friends and at some point we both wre involved with someone else
He used to say that when a guy and a girl are friends there’s one of them who’s interested in the other and just won’t say it for the sake of the friendship
I didn’t agree
I was happy with us just being friends and apparently he was not
The reason I’ll take his calls is that maybe, just maybe, he needs help
I quit sometime being friends with just one of two people- issues come up when the other person is insecure or the person you’re friends with just says things they don’t mean and don’t say so
It’s complicated - sometimes

Paired up

This is the paired up world I live in.
NB- I’m talking of work coz that’s where I spend most of my time
At head office there were four single people two guys & two girls
As of two weeks ago only the girls remain single
I’m one of those two
The guys went and paid their lobola and they’re on the way to the paired up world
At home there were two of us singletons and guess what-
I’m the only one left
She eloped
So everyone expects that I’ll be next
Yeah all right, I’ll be next
But not when they expect coz I also don’t know when
I really cannot make a conscious decision on when to get married coz that’s just how it is
I’m way past the expected marriage age and everyone believes I’m worried
I’m not
At times I actually worry over their worry coz it’s just too much
My time just is not yet
Soon, but not yet
Tough it tarry, it will not tarry
Till now I’ve been blessed to learn from other people how not to start a marriage
How to keep it alive
Things to avoid when in comes to family issues and your new family
Most of all you could dream of about marriage, I’ve learnt as an observer
I guess I’m just being prepared for the marriage I’ve always desired
That built on God’s love and principles
It’s a mission finding the right guy
Best is not to look for that guy
He’ll find you when the time is right
If you look for him you just may end up stuck with a guy who was meant to just pass by and leave you with some lesson on relationships
If you commit to the guy chances are he may still leave you with the lesson and a divorce certificate
My views totally
I’m waiting for that guy for as long as it takes and when he comes I’ll be the Proverbs 31 wife he’s been praying for
For now, I wait and do all that I can as a single person for the Lord
It’s only now that I can serve Him as a single person so why loose time chasing for a guy who’s looking for me?

My amazing trip

Yep, this is quite a life I live.

Just corrected myself that it’s not the life I lead but I live coz I ditched the driver’s seat when I put my all in God’s hands.

I for one know God’s mercy and faithfulness in one’s life.

He’s always good to me.

At times I don’t see it there and then that what’s happening is for my good

But I thank God that my vision is not blinkered such that I don’t realise that yesterday’s complaint was lack of knowledge on my part.

I made a trip to Jo’burg a weekend ago and it was quite interesting

I had no hassles in anything at all

This is one trip I just decided to make and didn’t plan for it

One of those things you wake up and decide to do

I had counted on going with a cousin who knows the city but I had to make the trip on my own

I couldn’t cancel as that was the only day I managed to squeeze out of my boss

He called it special leave! A day off!

This was just being whimsical of me .I needed some time away from home is the truth

I digress

So on my own I ventured to do a bit of shopping

I got a friend of a friend of my cousin to show me around

It was God who worked for me on this trip

The guy who was meant to be my guide had to work that Saturday all of a sudden and he sent his cousin

You can imagine how I felt when he told me that

Here’s someone being asked to be a guide for the day by someone who’d been asked the same a day ago

What if this guy is just coming becoz he’s been forced by this guy coz he feels he shouldn’t let me down

You can imagine what was going thru my mind as I waited for the guy.

We’d talked on the phone but I just thought that my desires were a bit out of line considering I wanted to go back the same day and I still hadn’t decided what I’d come to shop for

Long story short, my guide was marvellous

Actually, his name is Marvellous and that’s what he was

We went round town in the shortest possible time and were still on talking terms when we parted

I say this coz here’s a guy who’s meant to take a female around to do some shopping and he still has to be gentleman enough to help with carrying packages and answering questions like “what do you think of this? will this fit me? how will this look on me?”

I was aware that the bus station or buses back home had changed but I had no idea to where, neither did he

So we went to the old one where there was chaos and we tried a second one.

We got there whilst people were being checked in as the bus was meant to have left at 2pm and it was 2:05

I managed to get a seat and was home bound by 2:30

The trip back was uneventful except that the bus was flying and I made a point that I was not going to board the same bus ever again coz the hospitality was worse than that on the bus there

I was home by 7:30am having been dropped off at 6am

That was a record trip in terms of time and I felt that I had slept on the bus and so I proceeded to attend the Sunday service

Little did I know that my body would rule the day and I dozed part of the service only to wake up when there was singing. I did get the gist of the sermon thoughJ

Why I call this my amazing trip is becoz of how God led me along the right paths and kept me safe

The Monday morning after the trip I was told that there was an accident on the route I’d travelled the Sunday morning and six people died

God kept me from that and I am thankful

I look forward to making another trip next month

As always I’ll say my prayers all the way long.

Living

"I like living.
I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow,
but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

- Agatha Christie

My fancy of the moment

I’ve just had one of those crazy ideas I sometimes entertain
And this has got me this far
I think I’ll do a blog for prose/verse/poetry
It’ll be totally unstructured and will be straight from my mind
Whatever mood I’m in at the moment, is what’ll reflect in that blog
It can be feelings, opinion, emotion, whatever…….
I think this be the electronic version of my little book of poetry
Why would I want to change
Simple and rational for me-
On paper I’m bound to shred or burn words that I feel I ought not to have written down
As an electronic file- well….
I just want to do it so…….here goes
Tomorrow I’ll go thru the motions
Actually I’m doing this now
The past weekend we just went crazy as a family as normally do
And somehow that’s inspired the name of the blog
It’s in my native language and loosely translated it means ‘look at your child’
Loosely coz my word combinations in my language can mean almost anything you want at that time
This is what I want now
So go look at this crazy whim of mine

My word!

How I’ve been so quiet
And also even the blogs I follow seem to be following the trend
There’s just some silence that’s prevailing
It could be becoz most people are caught up doing something
Or they just don’t know how to put to paper what’s happening in their lives
Whatever the case, I hope that something just goes back where it was all along
I’ve been busy working and that’s not satisfying at all
All it’s doing is wearing me out
Actually it’s causing me not to have time to put pen to paper and do what I love to do
Write my mind
I love doing that
As restricting as that may seem to many I actually love it that way
While it may seem to put permanency to what you write
It gives me the chance to see what it is that I am thinking
Looking at it I can actually stand back and ask myself “is this what you truly believe?”
It goes without saying that I obviously love the fact that I can save and edit whatever I’ve written
But this isn’t the norm actually
I like to keep first thoughts as they are
Unhampered by new ideas
Bringing to the fore what I may otherwise have not said
It’s just simple and fresh as it is
I like to call it “unedited thoughts”
Yes!
That’s why I love to write
To just lay it on paper
I can bare out my soul without wondering what if
I can rant and rave without wishing I hadn’t said that
I can retract better on paper than in word
A word somehow just goes and no matter how you try to undo things
The first word somehow just doesn’t come back
I can have many drafts of the final post
But that’s not what I love about this
What I love about this is that I can just ramble about something
And not necessarily retract it, but write again about it in another post and so life goes……….

Fear of.....?

So I had the most interesting ride home a Thursday some moons back. I’m using public transport and the sort that is common is what we call ‘commuter omnibuses”. These have rows of seats on which four people sit but are designed for three. Most of these now have been jazzed up to attract people to them. Most have radios which will be very loud playing either the driver’s or conductor’s pick of the day. A few instances a passenger has their flash with music they’ll ask to be played until they drop off.
A few have small TVs for entertainment for you to enjoy your ride.
I digress.
So here I am with a workmate who also resides in the same ‘hood as I do and we are talking about the news in that day’s local paper. When we get to discuss the article about witchcraft which had caused quite a stir in the news I ask ‘ Does this mean that the act that says no one can be called a witch has been repealed. I think the article said the woman was being charged for practising witchcraft”
Before my colleague answers a man a seat ahead answers and says no it has not. The lady on my side also joins the discussion. The discussion draws in more people on the ride as also the conductor joins in.
It’s quite a lively discussion as people give their insights. To make it more interesting the conductor comments that the husband should not send away the wife as she does whatever she does with the father-in –law. This obviously does not go down well. People say a witch is a witch. She should be divorced as you never know what she does without your knowledge. Then a question comes up ‘who’s better to have as a wife- a witch or an adulterous wife?’
Believe you me, people just are that difficult when it comes to life issues. The women respond that a wayward wife is a no-no as she’ll come with disease and the witch will probably leave you alone and not do anything to you.
The men want otherwise. They would rather have the adulterous wife coz they never know what the witch can get up to when you’re asleep. Yeah right!
As if they know where their wayward wife has been.
Bottom line, people are scared of what they do not know. There is a lot of fear as far as witchcraft is concerned and the superstitious stories have made people have the views they have. They will die from a spell cast by a witch but they’re unlikely to die from AIDS.
The story as I was to disembark was now trying to answer the driver’s question. (NB the driver is now also conversing with the passengers!)
He asks what he should do – he saw his friend’s girlfriend with another guy and she saw him. Should he tell on his friend’s girlfriend?
The answer I heard as I got of was he definitely should as if he doesn’t, the girl will also want to fool around with him.
And so the stories go, on the commuter omnibuses without radios which happen to carry discursive people like me.

I'm actually not busy!!!

This is like the first day since beginning of year that I can say I've been free to send e-mails to my friends which I've typed in one sitting.

It's this job that's kept me busy that all I've managed is to read personal mails as I have my tea if I manage that in one sitting before 11am.

It's been hectic and I'm tired.

Two things that I learnt today that I'd said I'd when I get the time- blogging this way and connecting to my desktop remotely.

they're things I'd never bothered to do coz somehow I thought they took time but they actually don't

This way I'll actually get to post the many drafts that I keep on changing each time I get free minutes to note something down coz when I revisit the draft, I'm feeling differently than when I started so I seldom get posts done that way

What actually ends up happening sometimes incoherent posts coz I sometimes feel compelled to just post coz I wouldn't have done so in a while

If's a great day, I'm sure it'll even be better when I get home:)

Those fwds

Finally! That e-mail I once wrote about has made it's second round to my inbox
And I'll share it
But before I do, I've got to say somehow it's not exactly what I expected
Somehow when I read it that other time it meant something a bit more profound than it does now.
I hope after reading it the feeling I got last time is what you'll get and not today's coz it's caused another posting.
Guess that's how it is at times when you go down the same road twice- you'll see a bit diffrently I guess coz the light, mood, weather, company...... is different that day.
Nah, not really.

""I feel in my heart that it is time to address this phenomenon. As a
Christian I honestly do not take kindly in mail that sort of obligates you to forward it, especially emails regarding our Lord Jesus.

First of all, there is no such thing as a wish; there is only faith, that is knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will never forsake you in anything, and that He will always provide for his children.

The whole "make a wish and then send to 7, etc.. people and a miracle will happen tomorrow", etc.., is all nonsense, for the word says:

Ask anything in my name and it will be given. Seek first the Kingdom of God and all things will be given.
I am your God; I will strengthen you and help you.

If God gave His only son Jesus Christ to die for us, what makes you think he will not add things to you and your life?

Secondly I think these mails mean to make us not believe in the promises of God, but it makes us believe in superstition, which is not from our
Lord.

Superstition is nothing but witchcraft, because then you believe in powers of wishes and things, and not in the almighty power of God.

The word of God says: My people are going astray, because of lack of
knowledge. Do not mess with the spiritual realm; if you do not understand it, you bring curses upon yourself. Do you honestly believe that in making wishes and not forwarding stuff someone can die, and phones can ring?

Thirdly, it tries to put you on a guilt trip. Those of us who know Jesus Christ, would also know that he is a gentle person, he would not force anyone to follow him, he simply knocks, and asks, the choice is still yours.

Now please don't get me wrong, I don't mind prayer chains and mails that you earnestly feel would bless someone, but these mails that leave the impression that our God is an old grumpy man upstairs that only looks for our mistakes and how he can punish us is not right. We know what a loving Father God is.

And after all, if you have accurate Bible knowledge, and if you are a spiritual person, you would know what mail to bless someone with; forcing Jesus upon people is wrong, for He himself does not do that, so please stop offending his precious name.

Rather let people know what a great friend he is and how loving he his.

Stop sending lies about Jesus Christ, and his father, stop believing in wishes, and then believe that you did the right thing and that God would take kindly to that.

Send prayer because you want someone to be blessed through it, don't tell them that if they don't, something bad will happen to them, that they will go to hell, etc. Putting some one on a guilt trip will certainly not lead them any closer to Jesus Christ or God.

Now I ask you to forward this mail if you agree, so that people will know the truth. God is Love, nothing but the purest form of love.

If you don't, then continue to send these e-mails, but keep in mind what you believe in you will receive, so if you believe in falseness and lies, then that is what will be in your life. Even non-Christians believe in something, most call it positive thinking. Think about it!

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free! (John 8:32)""

It's the last two paragraphs that started it!

Names

So someone comes and writes down this word ‘Deborah’ and asks me to read it out
I say De-boo-ra
He says No!
It ‘s De-b-ra
I say that’s spelt Debra
Deborah may also be said Di-boo-ra, I say
He insists and asks the rest of my colleagues who read it more or less the same way I did and they all don not agree that it reads Debra
Where we ended is quite interesting

If Deborah reads Debrah, then do you know how we’ll now be spelling the name of the black & white striped cousin of the horse….

Zeborah

Seriously, we asked him to go and get someone to read him her story in Judges 4 & 5.

Stuff

So I've like been major busy
Working once again.
It's been two weeks of constant pressure and this is actually the 1st time on the net
Can u imagine that!
Went on holiday for two weeks and I forgot that I actually have a job
Maybe that's why when I came back there's lots to do and I'm just one person
I just couldn’t be bothered
I guess I'm not a career person
Do it right and forget about it, is more my idea
I had a restful holiday catching up with friends and family
Yep ,that other part of my family that went searching for greener pastures
They're doing good and we had a blast just being together
Kodak moments I captured and will treasure
Life's great actually
This week's Wesley week at church and it's just a blessing attending one of the daily sessions
We've gone all out and we're seeing the results
It's just glorious and uplifting
I really pray that we continue building the flock and us as labourers train others coz truly the harvest is plenteous
When I started I wanted to rant and rave about work & people but I won’t waste space
Life’s great!

The 80/20 Rule

I just had to share this with those who browse past and well, it may just be a word in season.

"Interesting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?"
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT
And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not"
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did. Because no wife or husband is perfect.
Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .."
Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt
Or because your husband is the quiettype, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait!

That's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have! That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other.
The storms you have weathered together.
The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple.
The many adjustments you have made to love the other.
The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage.
I'm talking about life!
About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your children.
About your lifestyles.
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room!
Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip!

Don't live your life like that.

Forget about what the world says is first class.
Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?
The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are first class!"

Praises

Things look great!
I'm in a celebratory and joyous mood
I'll praise Him for His mercies I endure
I've been running around like a headless chicken but at the end of the day it is well with my soul
I'll praise Him for the peace I have
I'll praise Him for the love I have
I'll praise Him for the friendships I have
I'll praise Him for me
Thank You Lord.
He is ever faithful and ever sure

It's relative

I’m guilty of ignoring some of my friends
I’ve given the excuse of being busy
So I’ve decided to make amends and get in touch with them
Actually what happened is that there’s one of my friends who manages to get us talking if we’ve been out of touch for a long time
She’s just adorable, she’s always been
From one point of view I’m on top of the world
From the other I should be in the dumps
Which view am I taking?
The 1st of course coz that’s what I see
The latter is what pple think I ought to be at
When I look at myself I’m proud I’ve come this far
I’ve been thru a lot
I’m grateful that the lot I’ve been thru I haven’t had to experience 1st hand half of it
I learn from others’ lives
I think that saves me a lot of stress
Pple will always talk and I discovered they actually stress over issues not theirs
Like right now there’re pple stressed at why I’m not getting married
M I stressed over it
Shucks!
Never been
The last time I nearly dropped a brow over that I pinched myself back to reality
I’ll get there if I’m meant to get there
Many ways to skin a cat
IF YOU’VE GOT TO SKIN IT AT ALL
So why do pple stress over other pple’s supposed issues?
Coz they want to come out as if they care
And also coz they need reassurance that their expectations are actually normal
What many pple don’t acknowledge is relativity
Life’s full of those
Say u’re a yellow rose
If u put yourself next to a red rose, u may seem a bit inferior
If u put yourself next to a sunflower, the odds still may be against u
If u put yourself next to a yellow daffodil…
Need I go on?
The point is u’re still a rose and whatever’s next to u doesn’t change u
It might make u feel better or bitter
But bottom line is u’re still u
So why worry?
Hakuna matata………

e-mails

I just had to share this with you coz somehow I feel obligated to provide whoever does pass by here with something to smile about. I got this e-mail from a freind and it's kinda a reflection of what CAN happen with the many FWDs that people send all the time. I'll dig for the one which says why I don't forward chain letters. That one's very insightful and will put brakes on that impulse to hit the FWD button when you get an e-mail

"Results of My Last Year Sitting At The Computer

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poison in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be nicked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites me.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin'sbeautician...

Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way.....

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their email with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now; it's too late"

See?
Friendly e-mails do lift up one's mood at times or just make u smile.

Plans

There are a lot of things I’m wishing for right now
It’s one of those Fridays which feel like a Monday
The day’s taken its toll
I’ve lost touch with some friends this year
Not by choice, but I guess there’s a reason
I haven’t fulfilled some promises
I’m behind in what I’d planned to do
He he!
Planned?!
Now that’s a word
What I meant was hoped to do
But I’m satisfied with what I’ve achieved which I hadn’t even thought of
Actually I’m chaffed at my progress
One of these fine days I Guess I’ll lay it out in black & white
When I get the chance
Really, free time is far spaced these days

Fast Pace

Amazing that I've been on this post for 2 days straight & I still am not able to post properly
Been busy working
Yeah, of all things to do
Life's good
Really, it's good
Guilty of not being in touch with friends coz of work
M really trying to sort that out
Lot has happened
Summarised, it's life's good
I've managed to somehow get one more friend I can consider close
Don't have many of those actually
So that's a precious addition to my life
I'm being girlish, I know
That's just me
Lots of ups n downs
I thank God that the ups cancel the downs
Can't say I look forward to the weekend really coz all I'll get is one day's rest
Won't be working but lots to get up to
All the same
It's Friday
Yeah!!!
I amaze myself how I still mange to stand in this rush
Exhilarating really.
Blessed weekend.

Busy doing what?

Just wanted to pop around here and just leave a note to show that I'm still alive and kicking
Why?
Coz I've been busy
Noticed last blogged in Feb and even then it wasn't anything substantial coz it was just word trying to say something in a very small space of time
Quite like now, actually
So I’ve been busy
Busy doing what I ask myself even
Working
Yep
You know how it is
Stewardship is my kind of thing and here I am and I realise that there’s still an area lacking
So what will I do?
I’ll work on it fast
All I do I do as unto the Lord so when someone wants to take advantage, sometimes I don’t have a choice
Later.

Refreshing conv.

It’s quite refreshing early in the morning to have someone identify with the disciples
It was a brief conversation really
It started with a comment on how the person entered
And we ended up talking about following Jesus
Indeed how we carry ourselves always needs to show that we are true followers
Followers in word and in deed
Always
Made a great start to my day.

I've learnt from the best

I’m back and feeling a lot better despite the environment
I really ought to be screaming my head off for what’s happening around me at work BUT
I’ll keep my hat on
It’s not worth the energy
Actually shouldn’t have inserted any line about work coz it’s just frustrating and not worthy these lines.
I cannot say I liked the time away coz I wasn’t well and I don’t enjoy being unwell
M getting my energy back so hooray for that

I’m still in the process of figuring things out and I’m happy to say some of the puzzle pieces just fall in place before I get to them
That’s how God works in my life
I’m really taking things slow and easy but very cautiously coz I’ve learnt from the best
I figure I’ve got the best assault team against me coz I’ve got the best life team on my side
My team doesn’t have many people I know by name but the ones I know suffice
Daily I come to the same conclusion that this indeed is a rat race
I’m just glad I haven’t turned into a rat like most of the people around me
For real, they’ve gone rat and are looking at me sneering and expect me to join them
To qualify I’ve gotta be a rat
Sorry, I’m me
I will not bow down to that level
The only race I’m in is the human race where the only movements are due to birth or death
I’m still breathing so that’s OK with me
Like I said I’ve learnt from the best of the worst how I can be the best of the best
M not complaining about how the learning process is going coz it’s the result that counts , hey?
Diction, diction
My head still ain’t fitted on properly after a week long bed rest so I’ll rephrase that
It does matter how I get to the end result
It’s not just the end result that counts
If it was just the result then I’d be lying that I’m not a rat
That’s rat lingo and I know it coz I live with them but I don’t ascribe to their ways
Like I said I’m still trying to catch up so forgive my choice of words
Lingo, lingo.

House n home

I guess I could call this one of those days
I'm not well and don't even feel any better than someone who's depressed
I'm not depressed but just disappointed
Disappointed with myself and my clan along with everyone else I know
On myself, the issue is that I haven't been taking care of my friends
They are few and far between but I just haven't been giving them that attention that I'd need as a friend
Actually the ones who do matter don't normally top twenty on a good day
On a down day like today they're.......well......
Just two
I know one day this statement may get me into trouble but that's what I'm feeling right now
Forgive me
My head is cloudy but I still want to write
On the human kind- the disappointment is do with power
What we get up to just to be in power
What we do to show that we've got power
What we do for those in power
It's plain disappointing to say the least
I really don't want to call my home just a house but that's what I'm feeling right now
I'll stop and wait for better words and some enlightenment on how to say why I'm feeling this way
Pray for all of us- human kind.

Not a good identifier

How do you identify the Zimbo from a group of professional trying to make it in the world?
He’s the guy pulling his fellow Zimbo down so that he can get on top of him but not necessarily on top of the whole bunch
I really do wonder how we’ve made it this far?
It really shows God’s grace toward his children
Despite the number of people working on ensuring that you don’t get to the top
We still make it to the top
And some of these people actually call themselves your friends
Yes, we’re on the same trip but their the ones who will tell you along the road that you dropped something and they forgot to tell you then
They’re now telling you coz they’ve remembered and this is now some fifty kilometres from where you dropped the stuff
So much for friendship
Yeah, they promise to wait for you
And don’t
The one who have a conscience that bothers them will actually wait for you and make u feel that you delayed their progress and you should be grateful that they waited
They’ll nag you about that incident again and again to ensure you’re eternally grateful
It’s not the end of such happenstances
They continue for as long as you walk together
Ah, such is life for a black person
Thank God that we’ll make it someday- with or without our ‘friends’

Show off!

Argh!!
They just had to do that
A bloke gets in touch with me just to show off
My reaction....
Zilch
The whole event doesn’t warrant any reaction especially after the amount of work they put into getting one
Of all things to do- they call me up to sort of ask how I am so that I ask back how they are
So I go thru the rigmarole just so that they get to what they’ve got to announce
Then, eventually they come clean after a bit of prodding just to give them a bit of the sought after satisfaction
And then…….
It's priceless their reaction when I didn't react
So what if u now have that and i don't have
Hellllo
When was I ever materialistic?
It's saddening when I look at the whole picture
There’s like only two people who’ve said congrats on that and people have to search for a third
Now, that’s not wrong actually
How they go about it is the weird and wrong way
Why not just come out in the open and say
VIOLA!
That way I have no time to doubt and dig into what u’re up to
I just react like a normal person and congratulate you
Then maybe depending on what mood I’m in I just might still let u know I’m in ur secret
Maybe, but not always
Try it
It has healthier results
And trust me, the smiles will be genuine.

The book thing

So, I like reading fiction
They’re not out of the world plots
They’re actually down to earth plots
Some explore unfinished research
Some look at the ‘what if’s” of unexplained historical events
And the rest are what if things could be this way and mysteries
Why I like these is coz they put on paper a person’s mind
What they’d want to be like,
How they see things
What they think things are like
What they see around them
How and why they feel the way they do
On the level, they’re just refreshing
Quite insightful at times when they have a real world setting
Now, on that other hand
The person wants to bring out what happened the way they saw it
Or in cases in a most palatable manner
So for it to be palatable
They end up tweaking things a bit
So that people don’t get the wrong idea about who they are, about how things work
And also to ensure the book sells
Ever heard that a good story sells a book?
Well, it does
So the real life story’s gotta be good so that it’s picked off the shelf
So tweaking happens
Sometimes it’s eventual when the publisher reads the script
But I think most of the times when the person goes over their manuscript they figure that there’s a certain way that people have to understand the book
They need to bring the person on the same level, same perceptions and concepts
So tweaking happens
I just don’t tolerate lies so I avoid them
So when it’s books, I scan and see if the degree of tweaking is less than 1%
(very subjective, my world)
If it’s on the mark or below the threshold I read and so my reading is that bit wider coz I also want to know how people think when they have an audience
Just moi
Just the books I read.
My last read was Jeffery Archer’s Kane and Abel
I love his view.

Reaction - wanted

Ever had a case where someone tries to poke u just to see if u’ll react?
How did u respond?
Did u react?
If u did they got their gratification coz all they wanted was u to react
And react badly u did, I can guess
That’s how some people derive their satisfaction with life
A word of warning to those who’ll try that tactic with me
It doesn’t work
I’ve perfected the art of ZERO reaction
I’ll act as if I cannot see what u’ve done or what u intend to do
I just simply ignore ur antics
It’s gotten quite a number ticked off coz their ploys didn’t work
Pppplease!
Why do u seek for a reaction in someone so that u can derive fun from their reaction?
When will u grow up?
Maybe u don’t wanna but I really don’t have time for such people
It’s great fun ignoring people who’re after a reaction
They wonder – what’s up with u?
Some actually are irritated to the point of asking u if don’t notice that something’s up
Then the rocker……tell them u saw it but how do THEY feel after ur non response
Try it
Their reaction is priceless.

Some deep stuff

Was just thinking of the kind of books I read
I read stuff that won't pollute my mind
I read fiction novels
Actually I love reading fiction
Why don't I trust reading real life novels
Well coz I don't trust that many people
Honest, I don’t
I don't know them and probably never will so why take as is what they've got to write and ascribe the word truth to it?
My diction is mine and I’m calling myself a realist right now
People have their own agendas to push so what’s to stop them from calling it real so that we all end up believing things are the way they say they are?
The only real life book I believe 100% is the Bible
Just that one book
All others I take my caution and pick n choose what I want to believe
Will finish later

Take charge!

I don’t believe I’m already tired
(must be the age creeping up- my mum now has 4 grandchildren-4th one came on day 3 '09-take a guess how old I am. If u gotta guess u're also old coz I told u:)

I think I’m bored and becoming frustrated with myself
For the first time in as many years as I’ve lived, I think I’m gonna make resolutions for this year
Actually, when I got to know all this abt resolutions my only resolution was that each year the resolution would be to be happy in God’s path. Simple & a lot of fun for someone like me. I know, I know-BORING’s the word
I love myself and I love to be happy
This time around a lot’s been flying in my face and I’ve got to take a stance
Don’t know how I’ll achieve that when all that’s flying are variables
What I know is I’ll make it coz it’s actually ot in grasp the how and it’s actually also not up to me
All I gotta do is believe and it’ll happen
It always does happen
Back to that African thing I almost blogged abt maybe y/day or 2days ago
It’s to do with relations and the rigmarole of who’s gotta be told what by whom and how and when
PPPPLEASE!!!!
I know there’s something called culture but also there’s something called reality and logic
People get worked up over nothing coz someone said something or did something that way and not that
Kutogarisana dare at that!
Aaah!
That was it
It’s the passing of the buck and holding each other back that’s kept us where most of us are
I’m chaninging how things happen around me
I’m in control
I loved typing that
Splendid weekend.

Do I really mean it?

There have been times that I wish that i wasn't African.
Just that
Not that I want to be any other colour but just that my descent sometimes does get on my nerves
At times
Not always
Actually not a lot of times
Ok, ok
It happened this month that I actually did wish I wasn’t African
Case?
It’s proving elusive right now but it’s to do with culture
My mind wants to go to superstition but that only happened two days ago
It’s the culture thing
Or is it just people trying to mask their hidden intentions behind culture?
Since I was a young tot I remember that I tended to be rebellious at times
Not just for the sake of wanting to be
But for the sake of straight answers
I just need to know why things are the way they are
Why follow things just becoz someone says so?
Back to my case
I lost it
I got into a fight with people at home
And I still stand my ground
I will not be forced to believe things that cannot be substantiated
Nothing to do with faith
Just plain facts
You guessed it,
I lost the plot
Will get back to it when I remember more than just the title.

Annular Solar eclipse Monday 26 January 2009

Now I know this is gonna look I’m becoming obsessed with looking up
But what else can I do when the view is better from the top?
For all Africans sharing the subregion with moi i.e. Southern Africa
There’s going to a partial solar eclipse on Monday next week
Monday 26 January 2009
If u miss it it’ll happen for us again in 2016 so why miss this chance
For Hararians who work get to work by 8am
Make sure ur boss sees u’re at work and then go out and watch the beauty
It’ll be over by 9.32am. It starts at 7:26am so don’t tell me u cannot be spared for a few minutes over that duration
Almost forgot- get eclipse viewers for your safety
Read something about pinhole projections on the net
For more info on what u can see from where I suggest go to this site
Don’t tell me I never shared anything with you.

Oh, by the way this time around it's the south Africans, those down under and the island dwellers and the Asians who'll see it
You don't have to be told what they all have in common

Happy viewing........

Post 100

Quite a delight it is to be here
Here where I can just pour out my thoughts and, at odd moments, my feelings
I realise I’m out in the open
Very exposed
Coz pple know me
It sort of just happened
So today I did all I could to ensure new pple drop here by chance
Perchance I’m the next blog
Perchance someone really does like what I post & decides to share the link
I won’t lead anyone or tell anyone where I blog
That’s now a privilege
LOL!
I digressed right fro the start
Thank you to those who do read what I post
It matters not who you are or how you got here
What matters is that you see me in some light coz of what I write
At times it’s gibberish
At times it’s something I want to share
At times it’s just words
I just wanted to say thank you and so I will now say it
Thank you.
For sharing
For dropping by
For commenting
For anything else you’ve done for ME
Thank you
I trust we’ll be together for as long as this blog has no weight on my conscience
It’s just something I like doing
I missed it for lack of time
I’ll be around for as long as I can connect and I hope that’ll be for as long as I can type
I still have not started on this tear so PLEASE bear with me
I’m yet to wake upJ

Ghosts from the past

I really have no idea how this post’s gonna sound like coz I got like zillions of things to say but only one thing that NEEDS to be said in this post
1st with what’s gotta be said- what goes around comes around
For lack of a better combo of words I had to name this post what I did
I actually had to trek back like a year to find out that it’s actually myself who initiated contact with what today’s a blast from the past
Goes it have anything to do with this post?
Maybe
At some point in time I really had inspiration flowwwiing and now I’m at a standstill
Too much’s going on around me and I still insist on taking my time
The world’s abuzz with life and here I am sitting thinking and sleeping on my life as if all’s fine
Actually, all’s gonna be fine so I won’t waste a minute worrying
It never did make the world spin any slower, even Hezekiah sounded his worries and only then did the world spin a bit slower
I digress
I’ve got beef with pple and they got beef with me
Fair balance I guess
Not quite, I never wanted them to have beef with me in the first place
I’m a quiet soul frankly speaking
I don’t go around testing the waters
They do coz they got nothing better to do
So where r we with our beef?
Theirs’ about to go off
And mine?
I’ll let go
No use rubbing the rotten stuff in their faces when they insist on keeping it for memory’s sake
I rest my case.
Just oticed m on post 99 so....here comes 100

Still around

Bonjour mes amis!
Oops......
Hello my dear friends (if I may call you that)
It's been a month since I was last here
I trust you all had safe and joyous holidays and maybe some are still on holiday
I'll pass on how my 'away time' was

I'd like to believe that I'm back

The vital signs are still there
I'm breathing
I can converse
I still can crack a joke
My typing speed's OK for me
It's still a beautiful day
So I'm sure I'll still be able to write

How's 2009 looking?

Ummmmmmm

Ummmmmmmm



Pudding.........in the making