Qualms

Death isn't one of those things we dwell on or like to think about . Especially of ourselves.
Quite natural I suppose as we all have this drive to survive no matter what.
On Monday I did think about it as I mused if I was having a mild heart attack. The pain in my left shoulder was intense but was not in my heart. I was given a tablet for the pain which somehow was spreading to my left arm. I was shivering not from cold or pain. It was all happening all so fast. Then I just slept. When I awoke it took some time for me to realise where I was and why. the pain was still there but now less. I even laughed at myself. Why had I panicked?
How could I just leave this earth without having done so much for the God I love and what account was I going to give? How could I just leave without saying goodbye to those dear to my heart? It just didn't fit what I thought I'd feel on my last day.
I guess bottom line is that we are seldom prepared for death when we are healthy and joyous. Only when we feel there is a life threatening situation do we ask ourselves that question- where will I go? Heaven or hell, what will judgement be like?
Whatever our state of mind or health it's one question we need to ensure we know 80% of the answer and like that answer. If we don't like the answer then it's time we started doing something about it.