Disappointed

23/4/8
This just isn't doing. Kuitawo here nhai?
I'm disappointed, I think that's what it is.
Disappointment.
It's one of those things you never expect from some people.
Maybe becoz I've put them on some of pedestal.
not really.
I just look up to those guys and I expect a bit much from them.
I'm human after all.
Judge and thou shall not be judged, right?
I'm willing to be judged by the measure I use at the least.

My story?
Heard this morning that a local preacher committed suicide yesterday.
He's a man I looked at as one of those truly blessed people.
He was a powerful preacher.
Apparently he had marital issues
But still, suicide.
I'm disappointed.
that's just a NO-NO for me.
You just don't do that.
I know things can get to that stage.
Bu still, suicide's not the way out.

How will you face Him?
Will you even be allowed to see Him?

It's difficult for me to say things got to that stage and he couldn't turn back.
this is just one of those things I'll put on the list of questions to God.
I just need to know how such happens and how He lets it be.
Maybe I was expecting too much, but I don't think so.
He was a role model fro the youth and the about to be married guys.
And for aspiring preachers- you just wanted that powerful voice
And be able to move people the way he did.

Why am I saying it's just not right.
this is just one of those weapons used by the devil to put us down.
How many are like me?
Disappointed by a man of the cloth?
Will I still look up to any other person the way I did him?
Will I expect that much from a mere mortal?

That's the real battle.
My trust.
Man's trust.
It's never been in man.
It's always been in Him.
I just trust His creation to some extent and expect that much from them.
Just that much.
And if they fail?
Well, I keep on trying and bank questions for THAT DAY.
Ah well, I guess life can be complicated at times and we do have very different breaking points.
We still have the choice.